This is me driving to Grand Prairie, Tx. on Memorial Day weekend.  May 28, 2016

Happy (as usual)

Vibrant (as usual)               

     I was soon to be 50 years old, single and celibate for over 4 years by choice.  I accepted an invitation from a guy I had recently met, to join him and his family as they were having a family get together at his sister's house.  This man was from my town in Killeen, Texas, we had an agreed upon discussion about the purpose of my joining him, so hey, what the heck.  Here I go.   

     John had flown his mother in from Georgia for her grandaughter's sweet sixteen birthday party in which he was the DJ.  This was going to be his mothers first time meeting her great grandchildren, so it was planned to be an exciting gathering.  He knew that I loved family get togethers as he mentioned during our discussion.  

     So, I get to enjoy the family celibration and get chauffeured around the Dallas area, no strings attatched during this 3 day weekend?  Great, I'm in.

At one point I was getting ready to pack for the trip,  when John said something that alerted me, it just didn't feel right.  I stopped in my tracks, retracted the original acceptance of the invite, and put my feet up on my coffee table. Oh hell naw, that don't sound right.  But, he assured me over and over and over that I took it all wrong and his only intention was to insure my comfort and show me a good time.  Okay, "It's getting late", plus I have to stop and stretch along the way due to a previous car accident. 

     So, I   performed some normal precautions.   I  created a "paper trail", just in case.  You can never be too safe.  I had cash, cards, numbers of friends near by, had him to send me his personal info, and I arrive a little after 8 p.m. 

     I met him at his brother-in-law's house, where he stays when he's in Grand Prairie.  I agreed to  meet him there, but had no intentions of residing there.  The thought of engaging in any type of sexual activity was never suppose to happen.  This was the very thing that caused me to retract my  original acceptance.  I barely knew John, and I had no idea of who this man was that he called his brother-in-law.  That's crazy.   We specifically discussed me meeting and interacting with his sister, mother, and 15 year old daughter.  Point blank! Not "boo'ed up", no kissing or hugging.  It was discussed before my final acceptance. So, how is it, a couple of hours, a few shrimp and a couple of drinks later, I am sexually accepting to this stranger. NEVER in my HISTORY!

So, he drives me to a club.  I think my balance is fine, but this is where ''NOW' I notice things aren't right.  I start to walk behind him, like I'm following him, like a puppy.  He's even different.  He walks as if he knows he's in charge.  Cocky, head up, shoulders back, as his attitude change is noticable to me now, but I can't say anything.  He said that he hadn't made reservations at this overly crowded club, so why am I standing behind him in the middle of the isle seemingly blocking traffic.  I want to ask, but I can't, I just stand there.  immediately, a staff member comes over, greets him, and leads him to a table with a reserve sign on it.  I want to ask him about it, but I can't.  I could only think these thoughts.  He asked what I wanted to drink and I ordered my usual, Long Island Ice Tea.

I sip a little and  then my song comes on.  I spring out of my seat without warning and I notice that John springs up also as if he was shocked and needed to catch me.  I went to the Dance floor and started dancing.  John joined me, but I didn't want him to.  I felt a little annoyed.  I was thinking, "Why is he following me, why did he come to dance with me, he can't even dance, now I'm gonna have to stay in this one spot with him", but I couldn't say anything, I could only think it.  That's when I noticed that my coordination was off.    Everything from here on out is a snap shot, still shots in my head, or movie clips.  movie clip:  me walking toward the restroom.  snap shot:  faint knowlwedge of but no picture memory: I used the restroom.  video clip: lady compliments me about my outfit.  movie clip: I suddenly stood up and tried to dance in front of John, "as if" I was going to give him a lap dance, but totally could not stand on my own, no balance at all, had to sit down immediately.  movie clip:  John was standing on the side of me and I felt confused about why we were leaving.  I looked at the table and saw two glasses with Long Island Ice Tea still in them.  Total blackness, but I could hear the voice of someone talking, then John is explaining something to me, I can't see him but I can hear him, he's close to me but my vision is gone, it's only darkness.

All of that explains this picture.  The picture we took before we left the apartment. I hadn't noticed it but his expression had changed.  His demeanor was not the same.  This isn't the same man that I'd met a few days ago.  The man that greeted me upon my arrival to Grand Prairie.  The man that I read as insecure.  The man that almost  at one point begged me to come there.  The man that scrambled for words to impress me but never could and he knew it. Sometimes his conversation was a little off center and his responses didn't quite match the conversation, but I just chalked it up to him being a little weird and a little nervous.  Yes, he would boast and brag about what he had, where he use to work,  and how  he took the house from his ex-wife.  This let me know that he had very low self esteem and that he didn't have shit.   But that was cool with me.  Men stroke their egos in different ways.  I liked to talk to him and we had several long interesting conversations.  We didn't agree on some things but he seemed eager to learn about my way of thinking and my beliefs.

     So, this pic with this disturbing smirk and broad confident stance was not the same man.  The man pictured here knows something that I don't know.  I mean, It was just a few minutes before this pic was taken that he was the gentleman that was looking forward to this nice club that he was about to take me to.  We coordinated our clothes so that one wouldn't be over or under dressed.  Then he made a  power move.  Out of the blue, he  appeared to start to take his clothes off and I stopped him.  I told him that I don't know him like that and we're not getting dressed together.  He seemed to act surprised/insulted/no big deal, I'll leave as he started to gather his clothes from the bed where we'd laid our clothes on.  I said,"No, this is your room, I'll leave", and I grabbed my items, and went out the bedroom door two steps across the hallway and was in the bathroom. and directly across the hall to the bathroom.  I locked the door, changed clothes, and came out in record time, a one piece with head scarf, done.  He went into the bathroom to do something and left the door open so I said "let's take a pic", and this is the picture that I captured.  Was he mad because I wouldn't get dressed with him?  Was he waiting for it to kick in.  As soon as we got into his truck, all of a sudden I'm so loose..

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